(Hello, Nickelodeon headquarters)
Hi, sorry to disturb you this late in the night
I have a serious inquiry directed toward Nickelodeon
My question is :
WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?
You know y'all used to have some fire b*****s
When I turn on the TV I'm trying to see my favorite b*****s
Zoey101?
Jennette McCurdy?
Oh my God
And now all you got is these preteens
Bruh, I'm not a pedo
I'm not trying to look at these little kids and get aroused
Now I can't watch Nickelodeon with my **** in my hand anymore
Now I'm f****ng upset
This is some f****ng bulls*it
Dan Schneider
Bring all my b*****s back
I need all my b*****s, I need all my b*****s
The new s*it you put out is wack
Dan Schneider
I'm just trying to get an erection
But now that these kids looking 13 and under
My ***** will suffer
Dan f****ng Schneider (Schneider !)
This ain't a f****ng game, *****
I wanna watch a sitcom
With my hand on my ****
I wanna see a titty
Not f****ng kid s*it
Return all the hot chicks
Or you gon get it *****
iCarly, iCarly
I don't care if you look like Michael Jackson
As long as you giving me action
And Freddy gon' film the reaction
Sam gonna join in
And suck me a fat one
Nickelodeon girls
Can't live without 'em
Whew !
Ariana Grande
I know I drive a Hyundai
I can put you in a coma
Have brunch on a Sunday (fancy)
My **** put you in a coffin
All night screaming and tossing
Victoria Justice
I know you tryna touch this
Lizzie McGuire is tight
But I bet Zoey's tighter
You can find me in her bed
Digging through that vaginer
Amanda Bynes, you a little bit crazy
But you can still have my babies
Whew !
Go down like a dog with the rabies
Y'all can't save me
Uh, a little bit of ****, hard liquor for the ladies
Got me feeling like a young Dan Schneider from the 80's
With a Jewish law firm and an all black Mercedes
She playing with the b***s like Brady (ay)
**** off with the s*itty little kids with their stupid s*it
I only wanna see the ones with a body fit
And I don't want to be the one to be a little ***** about it
But I'm just saying what everybody is thinking
Where the t*****s at?
Dan Schneider why you ruining your business?
You realize I'd probably buy cable if you keep all the girls
And the ratings all stable
Cuz I ain't tryin to see a young baby in the cradle
Cuz I'm not a pedophile
I'm not trying to see that s*it (c'mon man)
The girls I have ***ualized are all in their 20's and 30's
(Disclaimer!)
I'm not saying you should change all the b*****s
But at least something after 10:30 (30!)
Dan Schneider
Bring all my b*****s back
I need all my b*****s
I need all my b*****s
I need all my b*****s back
I love you Dan Schneider, just please bring them back